After two successive demotions, the Kentish men found themselves languishing in the depths of division 3 for the first time in many years and in desperate need of a good campaign to get back in touch with the top division where surely they belong!
With possibly the oldest squad in Kent’s History on board, the mini bus headed (all over the road under Alastair Filmer driving skills) off North and across the border to Wales and the Wrexham tennis centre.
It was clear on arrival that with a squad that has an average age of 29.5 the opposition would barely know who we were, which in this case was to our advantage as the exuberance of youth on the opposition teams could possibly be their undoing at the start of the event underestimating the heroes of the Garden of England.
Day one saw us take on the mighty REGION of the North of Scotland. Playing on three courts Kent lined up with Captain Burgs at 4, Alastair ‘Filmstar ‘at 5 and sporting a fruity moustache at 6 Sammy ‘T’ Taylor who was bringing down our average age in a big way at 18 years old. The early exchanges went Scotland’s way apart from on the Captains court where it was tight, but an hour later it had reversed with Captain Burgs losing, Filmer grinding his opponent down with a variety of slice options and awesome volleying. Meanwhile Sammy T was a set down, but combed his tash and changed strategy to the ‘all day rally mode’ and ground his older opponent in to the ground to take the win. Filmer meanwhile tidied up a great performance for another Kent win as Captain Burgs took the first loss of the weekend to put Kent 2-1 up. Scotland were strong at the Top, especially at number one with the world ranked teenager Jonny O’Mara. Jonny didn’t know Robbie Searle and I would say would be happy to never see him again after what can only be described as an awesome performance for another Kent win. Nick Cavaday was in at 2 and was getting pasted in set one, being outhit in a big way, and looking down and out. Meanwhile Jim ‘Gandalph’ May, grey locks flowing, demonstrated a level of flat hitting and volleying that his opponent clearly didn’t understand and took Kent 4-1 up. Cavaday ate a banana and took on board an energy drink and lifted his game to a new level which rocked his opponent who clearly thought it was all over. He was right, it was all over, for him and for Scotland, 5-1 Kent, a master class from Cava in raising the level. Kent only won one of the three doubles, but it was a good day and a 6-3 win for Kent.
Day two saw us play another Region, the home team North of Wales. With the other teams rocked by our win against Scotland, we arrived in the car-park of the centre and Alastair ‘Head of team morale’ Filmer turned the stereo up and blasted out the theme to the eighties classic ‘The A Team’ as we exited the van. The other teams stared and laughed, but knew it was true, the A team were here and were ready! Round one saw Sammy T on top form, carving an easy win at 6 to get the day started. Filmer, again a winner, but this time more impressive, as his good form from day one was missing, so with more hustle than muscle he got it done, driving his welsh opponent literally mad by throwing junk at him until he submitted. At 4 Kent unleashed the might of Paddy May who had a tough time after missing out on day one due to work commitments and was outplayed. Gandalph May forgot his trusty staff on day two and was unable to conjure up his usual magic and lost a tight three setter at 3. Nick ‘Return’ Cavaday didn’t allow his opponent to hold serve too often in an easy win at 2 to give Kent their third rubber of the day. Rob ‘Hero’ Searle had another super tough opponent, but if you’re looking for ‘super tough’, then ‘look no further, you found him... Rob Searle International hero!’, best match of the weekend and only one winner, Kent 4-2 up. So Paddy May back in the fray with Captain Burgs and outside of them not being twins, or the world number one doubles pair, they destroyed their opponents like the Bryan Brothers and as Kent crossed the line to go 5-2 up their opponent said ‘too good, in fact no, way too good!’. Kent win the remaining rubbers to take a 7-2 win leaving us needing to win by any score on the final day for promotion.
Day three saw the age of the Kent team on show with soreness all round, but ready for action and ready to complete our mission against Leicestershire. Sammy T, didn’t play his best, but was too strong and put Kent in the lead. Filmer back on form, handed out an absolute cuffing at 5 and we had a 2-0 lead. Paddy May caught fire at 4 and hit some shots that defied the physics of this universe to take Kent tantalisingly close to promotion. Jim May on at three, and the Leicestershire supporters joked that their man was playing a Grandad! Don’t laugh at a wizard! Gandalf brought his staff and played a little like Stefan Edberg(who his opponent had never heard of), playing his best match of the week giving Kent a 4-0 lead. Another Cavaday master class of returning took Kent over the line to 5, leaving a wounded Searle limping on the court, a set down. Captain Burgoyne goes on to the court to speak to Rob.... ‘Rob, you don’t need to finish’, ‘Nah, I can beat this guy’ said Rob. ‘Okay Rob, but you can’t really move, so you better just hit it very hard’ says the Kent Captain. ‘Alwight’ says Wob... OMG...... It’s raining forehands and 45 minutes later Rob seals an outstanding weekend with another great win. P May and Andy ‘I can’t serve anymore’ Burgoyne smash another win in the doubles to make it 7-0 and it was all over.
A great performance from the men of Kent, proving that they simply don’t belong in division 3, even if we are missing our top 3 players! So we look forward to a push for promotion back to division 1 for 2015 with the sore memories of 2012 long gone.
“In 2013 a unit of Kent tennis players were demoted unfairly to division 3 of County tennis. They duly dispersed to the Kent tennis underground. Today, still wanted by their Captain, they play as soldiers of fortune. So if you have a problem, and no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire, The A Team”